Happy Medium

When you care for someone, you want them to always be happy no matter the circumstances. I have always been living my life by this rule, for it's what I truly believe in. It just hasn't hit me that sometimes the person you care for the most is happy and you're sincerely happy for them but at the same time you're not. It's confusing I know. I'm just caught between a boundary where I can't seem to find that happy medium anymore. Every way I turn, I end up going in circles. I find myself pacing back and fourth between being happy and making others happy, and I usually always go for making everyone happy except myself. Getting hurt is one of my biggest fears and trying to please everyone else is a way I can control that I won't hurt myself; I couldn't have been more wrong. By not putting myself in front of everyone else every once in a while, I only don't seem selfish or self centered but I'm also not entirely happy. So I have to question if you're not sincerely happy yourself, does that consider yourself to be hurt or just unhappy? The way I look at it, if you're unhappy you're going to be hurting. So all in all I end up hurting myself by not being happy. Either way I find myself in trouble with the feeling of happiness. I guess I just should probably grow some, and deal with it, but for me that would me too easy, too simple. And I always take the most complicated way, never easy.